Young Mr. Grace decides to have a "German Week" where the department will sell only German goods. However, after two days they discover they have only made 64 pence, so Mr. Rumbold and the floor staff decide to give the department a more German feel by dressing up and serving German wine.
- The flags on the wall are lacking the design in the middle that would designate it as an East or West German Flag (as Germany was split during the time of broadcast). It instead uses the flag that would eventually be the flag for a combined Germany. Editor's note: - This may have been a delibrate decision, to avoid favouring one half of the country over the other.
- Mr. Grainger comments on the cold weather to the German customer shopping for a coat. The man asks, "Wie bitte?" (pronounced "vee bee-te") to which Mr. Grainger responds, "Ooh, absolutely bitter!" "Wie bitte" actually means "Pardon/Excuse me." Editor's note: - Mr Grainger is unlikely to be fluent in German, so this would be an understandable mistake on his part.
- The "Ausfahrt" sign the staff hangs inside the department to mark the exit might have had its intended comic effect, but the sign itself was incorrect for that use. In German, "ausfahrt" denotes a vehicular exit such as that on a highway or in a parking lot or garage. It literally translates into English as "drive out." The proper sign to have placed inside the store, intended to show people how to get out, would have been "Ausgang." Editor's note: - The persons responsible for producing the signs may not have been aware of the distinction.
- Mr. Lucas and Mr. Humphries clink their beer mugs together and both are supposed to shatter, but only Mr. Lucas' does. Mr. Humphries then breaks his mug with his hand to complete the joke.
- Mrs. Slocombe: I won't forget being thrown flat on my back on Clapham Common by a landmine. And the German Air Force was responsible!
Mr. Lucas: All the other times she was flat on her back, the American Air Force was responsible.
- [on having to stay for a meeting after working hours]
Mrs. Slocombe: You know, this sort of thing just isn't fair on my pussy. She has a go at the furniture if I'm not there prompt.
- Mr. Grainger: I can't wait more than ten minutes because I'm having a bath tonight.
Mr. Humphries: Oh, it's treats!
Mr. Grainger: Well, I can't get the old boiler working very often.
Mr. Lucas: Having a bath with Mrs. Grainger, are you?
Mr. Grainger: I don't find that amusing!
Mr. Lucas: Come to think of it, neither would I.
- Mrs. Slocombe: You know, there's only two things I like about Germany: Curt Jurgens and Gorgonzola.
Miss Brahms: Gorgonzola isn't German!
Mrs. Slocombe: Oh. Then there's only one thing I like... No! I tell a lie. I like Irving Berlin!
- Mr. Lucas: Here, listen to this, you'll never guess what the German word for "cuff links" is.
Mr. Humphries: What?
Mr. Lucas: "Manschettenknöpfe."
Mr. Humphries: I don't expect they'll sell many with a name like that.
- Mr. Grainger: This is a funny name for a sweater. "Mit der Hand gewaschen"?
Captain Peacock: That means "wash by hand".>br>Mr. Lucas: It's a good thing you parley the Deutsch, Capt. Peacock.
Captain Peacock: I had to study it during the war, you know.
- Mr. Mash: "Ausfahrt."
Captain Peacock: I beg your pardon?
Mr. Mash: "Ausfahrt." What's that mean, then?
Captain Peacock: The way out, Mr. Mash, and I suggest you take that one, as we open in a few moments.
- Miss Brahms: I'm not selling German sex knickers!
Captain Peacock: "Sex", Mrs. Slocombe, is the word they use in Germany for six.
Miss Brahms: Oh, and what do they use for sex?
Mr. Mash: Same as they use everywhere else.
- Mr. Rumbold: Oh, where are we in our conference?
Mr. Humphries: Mrs. Slocombe was remembering being flat on her back on Clapham Common.
Mrs. Slocombe: Can we knock it off, please?
Mr. Lucas: She even remembers what she said!
- [discussing the German signs]
Mrs. Slocombe: One dear old lady customer of mine got a terrible shock. She was caught short and walked straight through the door marked "Herren".
Captain Peacock: You should have directed her to the door marked "Damen".
Mrs. Slocombe: I didn't have time. She saw the word "Her" and was off!
Mr. Grainger: And I'm here to tell you that she won't make the same mistake again.
- Captain Peacock: Let me say here and now that I am not going to dress up as Hitler!