The Think Tank is the third episode of Are You Being Served?'s second series. It was first broadcast on 28 March 1974.


Due to recent shoplifting at Grace Brothers, Mr.Rumbold announces that the first floor will be a guinea pig for the new security cameras. But when the staff find out that Rumbold is watching everything they do, they take action to get rid of the cameras. [2]


Episode QuotesEdit

Captain Peacock: Mr. Mash, in future I would like to wash the female dummies with a petticoat on. Mr. Mash: Well, if you say so, Captain Peacock. Err... is it alright if I keep me socks on?

Captain Peacock: Oh, good morning, Mrs. Slocombe. Good morning, Miss Brahms. [looks at his watch] Yes, just on the dot. Mrs. Slocombe: Oh, I'm worn out to start with. I have stood standing in the bus all the way, and not one man offered me a seat. Miss Brahms: You should do what I do. - Shove a shopping bag up your coat and stagger a bit. Captain Peacock: That's the trouble with all you ladies. You want equality, but you're prepared to stand up for it. Mrs. Slocombe: Ooh, you're very sharp today, aren't you? Mr. Lucas: Quite right, Captain Pecock. They're all the same these days. You take girls out and they all want equality until the waiter brings the bill. Miss Brahms: That's because of what you want after the waiter's brought the bill. Mr. Lucas: Well, we don't get it, how many offer to split it down the middle?

Mr. Humphries: They're not even looking like they used to. I mean, there was a time when you'd go up to a customer, say "Excuse me, Sir, are you being served?", and they'd say "no, just looking". Now they don't even come in. It's most frustrating, isn't it, Mr. Grainger? Mr. Grainger: Most frustrating. Trousers are at a complete stand still. Mr. Humphries: You're lucky to get your tape up once a day. Mrs. Slocombe: Well, my corsets have been down for over a fortnight.

Mrs. Slocombe: Oh, I'm dying for a cup of coffee. Mr. Grainger: So am I. I want one to take my pill. Mr. Humphries: Are you on the Pill?

Captain Peacock: After I came out of the army, I made a study of sales technique. Now, there was a theory that a moving display has more impact than a... than a static one. Mr. Humphries, Mr. Lucas: [both together] True. Mr. Rumbold: Well, I suppose you mean we should have our trousers moving about more.Mr. Grainger: How do we achieve that? Mr. Lucas: Couple of dozen pairs of electric legs. [laughs] Captain Peacock: I'm being quite serious, Mr. Lucas. Mrs. Slocombe: Well, how does that affect my department? Miss Brahms: Yes, do we have lots of electric knickers jumping up and down on the counter? Mr. Grainger: Wouldn't that be very expensive? Mr. Lucas: You could have Mrs. Slocombe jumping up and down on the counter. That should make a big enough impact! [laughs] Mrs. Slocombe: That's it. I am withdrawing to the canteen.

Mrs. Slocombe: [to Mr. Lucas] I shall accept your gracious apology, but I, I suggest that for the rest of this discussion, you shut your cake hole.

Captain Peacock: I mean a down to earth fashion show, where we demonstrate to the man in the street that we sell ordinary clothes that are well within the reach of his pocket. Mrs. Slocombe: And what about the woman in the street?Mr. Rumbold: Unisex! Mr. Humphries: I beg your pardon? Mr. Rumbold: I, I mean a show for both sexes. I don't think your idea for a men's fashion show would get us anywhere. But my idea for a... a unisex show seems very original. Miss Brahms: But I thought unisex meant men and women in the same clothes. Mr. Lucas: It does! Mr. Rumbold: Does it? Perhaps I meant bisexual. Mr. Humphries: No, I don't think you meant that, Mr. Rumbold. Captain Peacock: Perhaps we should call it A Man And Woman's Fashion Parade. Mr. Rumbold: Or better still, "Male And Female Modes On The Move". Yes, that's it. I don't think your idea for "A Man And Woman's Fashion Parade" would have any appeal at all, but my idea for "Male And Female Modes On The Move" has fantastic appeal. Agreed? Mr. Lucas: Oh, yes, Mr. Rumbold, yes. What a pity you couldn't have thought of something like that, Captain Peacock.

Mr. Rumbold: Yes, well, it's up to me now, to get over the financial problem. If I run into any difficulties, we'll just have to have another session of the think tank. Captain Peacock: In which we think and it all goes into your tank.

Young Mr. Grace: I hope this is not going to take too long. I'm supposed to be going to see "Last Tango In Paris". I got the okay from my heart specialist this morning. Mr. Rumbold: No, no, Mr. Grace, you uh... just sit there. Now, what you're going to see is the fashion show that I told you about. Young Mr. Grace: Did you? Oh, yes. Yes, I remember. Yes. "Male And Female Moods In The Mauve". Mr. Rumbold: "Modes On The Move". The fashion show to help the falling figures. Young Mr. Grace: Oh, are we going to see girls in corsets? Mr. Rumbold: No, sales figures, Mr. Grace. And if you like it, then we'll have one. Young Mr. Grace: One what? Mr. Rumbold: A fashion show, Sir. Young Mr. Grace: Oh, I thought we were having one. Mr. Rumbold: No, this is just a demonstration to show you what we have in mind. It's aimed at the man in the street and woman in the street. Young Mr. Grace: You mean tarts? Mr. Rumbold: No, Sir, just ordinary people.[2]


  1. Aveleyman
  2. 2.0 2.1 IMDB entry tt0514482

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